THE ONE WHERE IT’S LIKE “IF I DON’T HEAR FROM THE F•R•I•E•N•D•S TODAY…”
Okay, so it’s been nearly one week, and no word from any of The F•R•I•E•N•D•S regarding my Vice Presidential offer. This could mean a number of things:
1. None of them want to be my Vice President
This could be true for a number of reasons:
- They’ve never heard of me and/or they think I’m a nutcase
- They are too busy
- They don’t want the pressure of maybe having to become President
- They don’t like me
- They hate politics
- They hate governance
- They are actively supporting another candidate for President
2. They haven’t seen either my appearance last week on The Chris Gethard Show or any of the numerous messages I’ve left for them on Twitter. This is at least partially possible. As I’ve stated before, Friends Rachel and Joey are not on Twitter. I was kind of hoping they would hear about this VP offer from the other Friends, and that if they didn’t, it would be because the 4 who are on Twitter were keeping it to themselves because they wanted to claim the job for themselves. Friend Ross doesn’t seem to be active on Twitter recently, but Friends Monica, Chandler and Phoebe have all been active enough in the past week that it seems unlikely that they could have missed the many tweets I’ve sent their way…
3. I can’t think of any other scenarios. They either don’t know about it or they don’t want it.
I guess what I’m hoping is that they are all procrastinators and that I will hear from them today. That would be so wonderful, what a nice surprise, like how Monica and Chandler wound up together and ended up being a better couple than Ross and Rachel. No one saw that coming, right? Maybe this is like that.
Anyway, if I don’t hear from them today, I’m going to be making a Major Announcement on The Chris Gethard Show tonight that will change the shape of my Vice Presidential Selection Process in a big way. Be sure to watch!
Like I’ve Been There Before,
Connor Ratliff (Age 36)
The Next President Of The United States Of America
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