THE ONE WHERE OBAMA COPIES ME AGAIN
So, last week, the Obama campaign took notice of my F•R•I•E•N•DS 4 VP initiative and decided to nab prominent Friends guest star (Season One, Episode 17) GEORGE CLOONEY for a big publicity dinner at Clooney’s house. The timing of this is beyond suspicious…
This week, the President took a second page from my playbook by appearing on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, a New York City-based late night talk show.
I happen to appear frequently on a New York City-based late night talk show, The Chris Gethard Show. In fact, I launched my campaign there. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I have to say: you flatter me, Mr. President.
They are copying me because we are obviously doing something right. After all, we are still in this race, unlike all the people who have wasted millions and millions of dollars only to drop out. Meanwhile, Mitt Romney has blown a small fortune to get where he is now, only for polls to show that even the people who LIKE him don’t like him.
Now the bad news: none of the 6 F•R•I•E•N•D•S have responded to my messages on twitter, asking them to be my Vice Presidential running mate.
I spent all day Tuesday tweeting about Cougar Town, Courteney Cox’s TV show, and I didn’t even get as much as a retweet. If she has noticed me at all, my assumption is that I must be annoying her, because she responds to all sorts of other tweets.
What’s worse is that I haven’t heard a peep from ANY of the literally hundreds of people who were ever on FRIENDS! Not one! The offer stands: if you can prove you were on an episode of Friends, get in touch with me on twitter (@35ratliff2012), okay?
Topping it all off, I am THIS CLOSE to getting banned from a Friends message board. The administrators don’t want me to talk about my campaign! They say it’s SPAM, and they keep deleting my posts! It’s really depressing.
It’s NOT Spam,
Connor Ratliff (Age 36)
The Next President Of The United States